Table of Contents
- 1 14 Intercourse Questions You’re Too Embarrassed To Ask
- 1.1 1. “from time to time, when i am HAVING sex WITH MY HUSBAND, I start off AROUSED and then get bored. I want HIM TO feel suitable AND TO ‘finish,’ but I experience AWKWARD AND could alternatively stop. WHY DOES THIS occur? IS IT everyday?”
- 1.2 2. “sometimes I feel EMOTIONAL AFTER sex and actually CRY. it is EMBARRASSING, however IS IT ordinary?”
- 1.3 3. “I experience LIKE i’ve a very strong VAGINAL heady scent. there is BEEN NO exchange IN DISCHARGE over the years, but I worry THAT THE scent is not everyday. need to I BE involved?”
- 1.4 4. “every so often AFTER intercourse, I enjoy BLEEDING—not much, only a LITTLE. is this everyday?”
- 1.5 5. “IS IT everyday TO enjoy CRAMPING AFTER intercourse—EVEN when you’RE not watching for YOUR duration?”
- 1.6 6. “it’s so EMBARRASSING, but every so often I skip fuel all through intercourse. I can’t help IT! WHY DOES THIS happen, AND DOES IT occur TO different girls?”
- 1.7 7. “one in every of MY VAGINAL LIPS is larger THAN the other. i am concerned THAT MY HUSBAND THINKS i’ve AN unpleasant VAGINA! HOW DO I understand IF MINE IS regular-searching?”
- 1.8 8. “i am concerned approximately THE fact THAT I often HAVE pain during AND AFTER sex. it’s not excessive, however it is BOTHERSOME and that i can not help but wonder IF other women enjoy THIS TOO.”
- 1.9 9. “WILL MY VAGINA look unique AFTER i’ve A toddler, and could IT suggest much less-pleasurable sex?”
- 1.10 10. “i have by no means HAD AN ORGASM all through intercourse—IS THAT everyday?”
- 1.11 11. “IS THERE this sort of component AS AN ugly VAGINA?”
- 1.12 12. ” I HAD UNPROTECTED sex once IN college. i am HAUNTED through THIS, EVEN YEARS LATER. i have by no means HAD signs and symptoms OF AN STD, however need to i get AN HIV test?”
- 1.13 13. “DO ORAL HERPES AND ORAL intercourse blend (IN different words, am i able to skip a cold SORE TO MY partner’S GENITALS)?”
- 1.14 14. “I truly sense UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ORAL sex—each GIVING AND RECEIVING. is this normal? HOW CAN i get greater comfy WITH IT?”
14 Intercourse Questions You’re Too Embarrassed To Ask
Ever marvel if what you experience between the sheets is “everyday”? you’re no longer alone. we have requested the specialists for his or her tackle some common intercourse issues we have heard from women. here’s what they’d to mention.
1. “from time to time, when i am HAVING sex WITH MY HUSBAND, I start off AROUSED and then get bored. I want HIM TO feel suitable AND TO ‘finish,’ but I experience AWKWARD AND could alternatively stop. WHY DOES THIS occur? IS IT everyday?”
Do not worry—you don’t have a few undiagnosed sexual dysfunction just due to the fact you lose interest, every so often, for the duration of intercourse, says Amy Levine, a big apple town–based totally intercourse teach and licensed sexuality educator. “the important thing for you is to determine out what is working the other instances,” says Levine. “perhaps your husband makes certain movements whilst you do not lose interest that you discover enjoyable. understanding your frame and speaking your wishes, needs and goals are paramount when it comes to related and enjoyable sex.” but what to do within the moment whilst you lose interest? “permit him recognise how you want—or don’t need—to be touched,” says Levine. “If and when this does manifest in the future, don’t be difficult on your self. you may stop having sex, and inform him you need to fulfill him in different ways. in spite of everything, switching things up can be the delight prescription to hold you engaged.”
2. “sometimes I feel EMOTIONAL AFTER sex and actually CRY. it is EMBARRASSING, however IS IT ordinary?”
In reality ordinary! “Sexual conduct can trigger a number extreme emotions, from euphoria to sadness to anger,” notes Kimberly Resnick Anderson, LISW, AASECT-certified Diplomate of sex therapy, and the director of the Summa center for Sexual health in Akron, Ohio. “each lady stories a sexual encounter thru her personal lens and attaches personal which means and context to it.” as an example, she explains, you will be asking your self questions like: Is our love as strong as it as soon as turned into? Will I ever have a baby? Am I simply satisfied with my sexual existence, my marriage? “All of those ‘wonderings’ can trigger excessive affective reports,” Anderson says. “further, the physiological revel in of orgasm releases neurochemicals, which includes oxytocin, dopamine and norepinephrine, inside the female mind that could prompt a host of unexpected, effective feelings.” but, if sex or the idea of sex makes you sense emotional or the form of feelings you face after sex are severe and debilitating, talk to your medical doctor or a certified sex therapist.
3. “I experience LIKE i’ve a very strong VAGINAL heady scent. there is BEEN NO exchange IN DISCHARGE over the years, but I worry THAT THE scent is not everyday. need to I BE involved?”
“Likely not, specially if not anything has changed,” says Anderson. “Many ladies are self-aware of their vaginal heady scent and are probably a lot greater centered on it than their companions are.” In reality, she adds, many ladies who believe they have a strong or offensive smell are surprised to listen that their husband or boyfriend is both unaware of a fragrance or reveals it appealing or erotic. “Societal messages and cultural norms have finished a disservice to girls by means of inducing shame and embarrassment about natural scents,” she maintains. “Evolutionary research indicates that fragrance is a key factor in erotic response and that ‘blocking’ natural odors honestly interferes with evolutionary efficiency and lengthy-term sexual satisfaction.” nevertheless, if you or your companion note an apparent trade in vaginal scent or discharge, seek advice from your medical doctor to rule out infection, provides Anderson.
4. “every so often AFTER intercourse, I enjoy BLEEDING—not much, only a LITTLE. is this everyday?”
It is nice to speak in your medical doctor about any put up-intercourse bleeding, even light recognizing. “Bleeding after sex—or postcoital bleeding, because it’s called inside the medical international—can regularly be a signal of something extraordinary, maximum normally an contamination or cervical polyp, but from time to time something more concerning, like cervical most cancers,” says Lisa Stern, RN, MSN, a nurse practitioner who works with deliberate Parenthood in l. a. and blogs at gynfizz.com. however from time to time such bleeding seems to be nothing—even natural. “on occasion, girls, specifically teenage girls or pregnant girls, observe mild bleeding after sex, that’s because of ordinary developmental changes of the cervix.” nonetheless, any bleeding should signal a go to for your doctor to rule out any underlying issues.
5. “IS IT everyday TO enjoy CRAMPING AFTER intercourse—EVEN when you’RE not watching for YOUR duration?”
Sure. “Cramping after sex can be ordinary, in particular if the cervix—the bottom portion of the uterus—has been jarred at all for the duration of sex, through touch with a penis, arms or a intercourse toy,” notes Stern. “A cramping sensation can also, sometimes, be the result of pain in the bladder or urinary tract.” To lessen cramping at some point of and after sex, strive emptying your bladder earlier than and after sex. still, says Stern, if you revel in persistent cramping after sex, it’s first-class to see your doctor to rule out any underlying fitness situations like endometriosis, fibroids or a urinary tract contamination.
6. “it’s so EMBARRASSING, but every so often I skip fuel all through intercourse. I can’t help IT! WHY DOES THIS happen, AND DOES IT occur TO different girls?”
It’s regular and herbal, says Stern. “This happens to a variety of human beings,” she says. “The lady reproductive organs—the uterus, ovaries and vagina—are positioned in very near proximity to the colon, the largest portion of the gastrointestinal tract. in the course of intercourse, any motion of these organs can also initiate movement of the colon, which is then able to launch trapped gas.” And occasionally an orgasm may even trigger fuel, way to secure muscle tissue right earlier than climax. Embarrassing? yes, however it is fantastic to understand that we’re all within the equal boat here.
7. “one in every of MY VAGINAL LIPS is larger THAN the other. i am concerned THAT MY HUSBAND THINKS i’ve AN unpleasant VAGINA! HOW DO I understand IF MINE IS regular-searching?”
Every lady’s vagina is particular, and many are asymmetrical, says Stern. “There are not any ‘everyday’ or ‘unusual’ vaginas,” she explains. nonetheless, in case you do word that your vagina has modified—as an instance, if there is a lump on or a alternate in color of 1 or each of your vaginal lips—see your health care issuer for an assessment.” but if one facet has been bigger given that puberty? it is just your own regular variant, she says. include it!
8. “i am concerned approximately THE fact THAT I often HAVE pain during AND AFTER sex. it’s not excessive, however it is BOTHERSOME and that i can not help but wonder IF other women enjoy THIS TOO.”
The best information? you’re no longer by myself. “Many women have pain throughout sex only in positive positions, with positive companions or at positive times of the menstrual cycle,” says Stern. “that is often normal, even though extreme or persistent pain should be evaluated.” Be looking for these pink flags: “if you do have pain at some point of sex, specially if observed with the aid of different signs and symptoms like vaginal discharge, excessive menstrual cramps or discomfort with urination, you must see your health care provider to rule out a cervical infection, endometriosis or interstitial cystitis,” she provides.
9. “WILL MY VAGINA look unique AFTER i’ve A toddler, and could IT suggest much less-pleasurable sex?”
Nobody goes thru hard work and delivery without vaginal adjustments, says Mary Rosser, MD, PhD, a school member of the branch of Obstetrics and Gynecology and girls’s fitness at the Albert Einstein college of medicine and Montefiore clinical center in the big apple town. however it is now not all doom and gloom, she says. “it’s miles completely regular on your vagina to stretch throughout a vaginal delivery,” Dr. Rosser says. “The vaginal tissues are extremely resilient due to their elastic nature. Many elements can affect the healing system together with the dimensions of your toddler, how long you pushed and the way well your tissue has healed after episiotomy or laceration restore.” To assist the method, do Kegel exercises regularly and give it time—at the least 6-eight weeks, she says. “Your sexual dating may be healthier and happier than ever earlier than.”
10. “i have by no means HAD AN ORGASM all through intercourse—IS THAT everyday?”
You’re now not by myself! according to analyze from The Kinsey Institute for research in intercourse, Gender and duplicate, only 29 percentage of ladies report having consistent orgasms at some stage in sex—it really is a whopping seventy one percent of girls who either never have an orgasm in the course of sex or most effective on occasion. “Many girls require extra direct clitoral stimulation all through intercourse to acquire orgasm,” says Hyla Cass, MD, a physician in non-public exercise in Pacific Palisades, California, and the writer of 8 Weeks to vibrant health. In other phrases, don’t experience awful if you just can’t climax from plain antique intercourse—many girls truely cannot, and there’s not anything to feel embarrassment about. however, if you’re inquisitive about a little sex homework, clutch your husband and try this notion: “some ladies can be able to have an orgasm with intercourse if they have had a clitoral orgasm just previous,” says Dr. Cass.
11. “IS THERE this sort of component AS AN ugly VAGINA?”
You may have heard approximately frightening web web sites out there that vicinity girl genitalia in categories based on certain traits: stunning or unpleasant. Nonsense, says Amy Levine, a new york-based sex educate, licensed sexuality educator and founding father of SexEdSolutions.com. “No two girls’s vulvas look alike—we are all specific,” she says. “Labia regularly deliver ladies the maximum tension approximately their genitals. Labia can be symmetrical or asymmetrical, range in size, range in texture from smooth to wrinkled in addition to range in colour from pink to brown.” if you’re having tension approximately your anatomy, Levine has this advice for you: “grab a hand reflect and take an excellent look! similar to getting to know to love each other part of your frame, it’s essential to embrace what you’ve been given. If no longer, you’re self-focus will probably reason you to sabotage your sexual confidence and in the end, your intercourse life. Be thankful that your vulva and vagina are capable of extraordinary pleasure and cause.” And, for the ones thinking about surgeries to improve the appearance in their genitalia, Dr. Rosser has this word of warning: “remember the fact that surgical operation itself can be more unfavorable in the long run and cause excessive scarring of the tissues and reduced sensation.” She provides, “How you think and feel about yourself as a female defines your sexuality. Be secure and cozy along with your own frame! you’re beautiful!”
12. ” I HAD UNPROTECTED sex once IN college. i am HAUNTED through THIS, EVEN YEARS LATER. i have by no means HAD signs and symptoms OF AN STD, however need to i get AN HIV test?”
Need to you freak out? No, says Dr. Rosser. have to you get a battery of STD exams? yes. “Your cause for subject is valid as everyone that has unprotected sex, even one time, can get a sexually transmitted disorder. For peace of mind, you ought to see your gynecologist for STD trying out, which include HIV, and make sure which you are up to date in your Pap smears.” it is crucial to word, she says, that a few STDs remain symptomless for many years. “Chlamydia, as an instance, is a sexually transmitted infection that may be silent while scarring your reproductive tract, that can result in infertility,” she says. “The human papillomavirus (HPV) is also extremely commonplace and contagious; it could cause genital warts and odd Pap smears and boom your risk of cervical cancer.” Bottomline: stop fretting and get tested.
13. “DO ORAL HERPES AND ORAL intercourse blend (IN different words, am i able to skip a cold SORE TO MY partner’S GENITALS)?”
Yes, says Dr. Rosser. “you may bypass the cold sore for your partner’s genitals. Herpes simplex virus (HSV) may be surpassed through kissing in addition to oral, vaginal or anal sex. till currently, it has been usually frequent that HSV-1 is related to oral or bloodless sores even as HSV-2 is related to genital sores or blisters.” however, she adds, it’s now recognized that you can get both virus on your face or genitals. “HSV-1 and HSV-2 can infect oral, genital and anal web sites. Genital HSV-1 is becoming greater standard, specifically among young adults as they may be having oral sex in place of sex. it’s vital to use a condom with genital as well as oral intercourse.”
14. “I truly sense UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ORAL sex—each GIVING AND RECEIVING. is this normal? HOW CAN i get greater comfy WITH IT?”
Sexual alternatives, and likes and dislikes run the gamut, says Dr. Cass. there’s nothing incorrect with being uncomfortable with a sure role, together with oral intercourse. but as opposed to maintaining your worries to your self, she encourages women to talk about them with their husbands. “Have a verbal exchange together with your accomplice about it,” she says. you may find, with some self-exploration, that a disinterest and dislike of oral sex ought to stem from pre-conceived ideas approximately intercourse. “Many women develop up feeling that it is grimy down there,” she says, “for this reason depriving themselves of the overall array of sexual pleasures. simply recognise that it’s everyday for women and men to experience giving and receiving oral sex—so may you!”